By February 2010, I had been pregnant more times than I can remember. I was on birth control, but it kept happening. I dont know why. What I DO know is I didn’t want anymore of his children. I wanted a divorce.
I stopped fucking my husband months before I came to this realization. I was beyond fed up with so many things which caused me to ultimately lose respect for him. Of course I still loved him, I’d known him all my life. So, I genuinely didn’t want to hurt him. But, we’d already done all the counseling, all the fighting, had a police report or two out there somewhere… really, what more was there to do?
I didn’t just cut him off cold turkey. Over the course of us becoming more and more estranged, it just happened. During this phase, I would sometimes wake up with my genital area wet and not knowing why… only to learn he had fucked me in my sleep. Yea. This happened more than once, and one time (the last time) I woke up in the middle of it enraged. I had already been coming to bed later each night, after he had fallen asleep. This night I slept on the sofa… and every night after that.
After 6 months of sleeping on the sofa, I finally saw a glimpse of light. The lease was coming up on our apartment – which was in my name of course because his credit was shot, yet another reason I lost respect – and I had no intention of renewing it. Besides, I had everything I needed to make a clean break, with no kickback from him. You see, in the state we lived, you couldn’t just file for a divorce. You were required to go to counseling, meditation, etc and attempt a reconciliation over 12 months. UNLESS it was a case of infidelity. Well, considering I wasn’t fucking him, he eventually went elsewhere. So, I sat back and watched my husband cheat, with multiple women, across the country… and I had proof.
I remember when I first learned my husband was even capable of cheating. One of his best friends was having a bachelor party, so of course my husband was going, and I was fine with it. He was in a great mood, taking over the house like a teenage girl getting ready for her first date: music blasting, discarded outfits everywhere, in and out of the bathroom mirror. He made sure our daughter and I had everything we needed and then he left for his night out on the town with the fellas. And I walked into the bathroom…
I noticed it immediately. It was so blatant and out of character, there was no mistaking what was going on. My husband had shaved off his pubic hair, for the first time in the 8 years we’d been together, and left the hair all over the toilet and floor.
I was stunned. Then hurt. Then annoyed. Then fucking pissed. I called him immediately and didn’t even give him a chance to speak, “You left ya dick hair all over the bathroom. As much as you shaved off, it should be nice and presentable.” Click. Fucking idiot.
He called back several times, texted, etc. Claimed he did it for me because he knew when he came home he’d be hot and bothered and ready for sex. Guessing he forgot I hadn’t fucked him in months and had no intentions. Of course, I didn’t get his messages anyway until much later, as I had already cut off my phone. It didn’t matter. He was a horrible liar and I had one foot out the door.
Divorced, one kid