A lot of people seem to think that a black man such as myself would have a preference of white women.
Let me go ahead and clear the air: I pretty much only date women of color. Yes, that means my sistas. I love y’all, always have, always will. I’ve always thought that the black woman was the most attractive woman in the world.
Now, let me be clear, I’ll fuck a white woman. Hell, I’ll fuck a woman of any race (what man wouldn’t? Don’t answer that). But, so far in my life, I have never dated a non-POC. All the women I’ve dated in my past have either been black or latina. The closest non-POC was black-white mix.
I have to be honest, I can not tell you how many times I have been told, “Oh I expected you to only date white women”. This irks me to no end. And can you guess who tells me this? Take a wild guess? Can’t figure it out? Give up?BLACK WOMEN
Seriously, why do black women say things like this? Ok, ok, ok, I know why. There is this pervasive idea in the black community that if a black man achieves any sort of success, is “well spoken”, and simply not the stereotypical black man, he must have a proclivity to white women.
Yes it’s true a number of highly visible black men are married to white women, but NEWS FLASH
Most black men (of all levels of success) marry black women. Seriously, this myth needs to die a quick yet painful death. Click to hide
Now that that’s out the way, let me speak on what I’m looking for, you know… my list. Everyone has one (and they should) and will definitely talk about it later on.
So here we go (in no particular order):
- Growth mindset
- Physically attractive
- Emotionally nurturing
- Emotionally mature and available
- Not prideful
- Has her own hobbies
I know I know, such a simple list right? Why is he single right? Must be something wrong with him cause there are SOOOOO many women who have ALL of these qualities, right?
Valid questions and I’ll answer them at a later date, otherwise, this post would be 10 pages long.
But I will say this, I am not asking for anything I cannot offer. This is huge in the dating game. The truth is, you have to stay in yo’ lane (there are some exceptions). It’s a harsh reality but it’s real.
And to be clear, everything on my list are non-negotiables, dealbreakers as they say. I’m going to spend some time on dealbreakers later on because we all have them, but some are more reasonable than others.
For the sake of completeness, I’ll add my “nice to haves”; meaning, they aren’t critical but they sure would be “nice to have”.
Nice to haves:
- Flat stomach (I have a thing for this) – I have a 6 pack
- Hour glass shape – see above (like IG model… I know, shallow, sue me)
- Nice skin – tone doesn’t matter, but I do tend to date darker women, not intentionally though
- Natural hair (I know the picture ain’t natural, but whatever)
- Likes to cook – Simply because I hate cooking
- Likes to clean – cause I hate doing this too
- A little nerdy
- Likes animals
- Likes to travel
- Speaks more than 1 language – cause I sure as hell can’t (trying though)
I’m sure a few of these will raise a few eyebrows but whatever.
So, let me know your thoughts, and what’s your list?
Single, No Kids, Never Married