Ah, the hypocritical feminist. This young lady was the front-runner. She (seemingly) ticked off the boxes. She was a bit on the younger side, but I was willing to give her a chance because of all the other qualities that she possessed. She was a very sweet woman, intelligent, surprisingly mature, and absolutely gorgeous. She routinely surprised me with how she handled things. I was truly impressed and enamored with her.
We had been out on a few dates and this was our 5th or 6th, not sure. We met up for dinner and just hung out afterwards. Now, I have to tell you about a little incident that happened earlier in the night. So before we got our food, we were talking and kinda horseplaying a little bit. While we were playing around, she pinched my ass. Not a big deal. In retaliation, I went to pinch hers but of course, she blocked me and said while laughing, “you’re not allowed to do that!” So I said, laughing as well mind you, “so wait, you can grab my ass but I can’t grab yours”. And she giggled and said “yes”. Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t care that much about it.
Anyway, we get our food, have a few drinks, have great conversation and genuinely have a good time. The night starts getting late and so we prepare to part ways. I start walking her out to her car and we stopped for a bit leaning on a pillar. We just held each other and continued talking and laughing. You know, the cute romantic shit people do when they like each other. Anyway, she’s holding on to me and when she moved her hands to reposition them, she lightly grazed my ass. Here’s where the night took a turn for the worse…
She says, “oooo” and then proceeds to grope my ass in a very deliberate manner. She’s laughing and enjoying herself. Now, I admit, I knew what happened next would upset her but I did it anyway. Seeing her do this, I reached down and grabbed her ass back. She recoiled in shock and pushed me away. She proceeds to walk to her car and I’m thinking to myself, “is she really THAT upset about that?” She gets in her car and starts to pull out. This is how the exchange went, mind you, it was very civil, no yelling or anything. I asked her, “are you seriously leaving?”
Her: “I can’t believe you would do that?”
Me: “Are you serious?”
Her: (continues to pull out)
Me: “So you can touch me that way, but I can’t touch you that way?”
Her: “It’s different”
Me: (as she prepares to drive away) “You call yourself a feminist but you’re ok with double standards? Listen, I’m very much about equality. Don’t do to me what you aren’t comfortable with me doing to you. Simple as that.”
She huffs and drives away. I have not heard from that woman since. I even swallowed my pride and tried to call her, even texted an apology. Still no word.
Not gonna lie, I’m a bit disappointed. I really liked her and thought that she and I had some real potential. And I admit, I did not handle the situation the best way. If I had my wits about me (we had been drinking), I would have grabbed her hands and told her not to do that unless I was allowed to do the same to her… but alas, I didn’t. Definitely a fuck up on my part.
In truth, I probably dodged a bullet. If she is willing to completely walk away from me for something like that, I can only imagine what other disagreements would turn into.
Damn… I really liked her.
New York City
Single, Never Married, No kids